The Woeful New York Mutts

Based on their record, my APBA 1965 replay New York Mets are bad. Really bad.

In the 24 years I’ve been doing APBA games, rolling the dice for 11 full baseball season replays (and a half if I’m counting the ill-fated 1925 season I quit after I tried playing the season series-by-series rather than day-by-day), I’ve never had a team lose as many games as the Mets. I’ve had other bad teams in APBA football, basketball and hockey before I began playing baseball in 1998, but none compare to the spiraling Queens team.

On paper, as they say, they are awful. They earn the title of the “Mutts,” as my high school friend, a die-hard Cardinals fan called the rivals, called them back in the late 1970s. But, as they also say, they don’t play the games on paper. Well, in the APBA replayers’ world, we do play ‘em on paper, but you know what I mean.

As of Sept. 5, 1965, New York is 33-106. They’re an astounding 53 games out of first place behind the Cincinnati Reds. I think they were mathematically eliminated when manager Casey Stengel motioned for a relief pitcher for the first time that year.

Let’s look at their pitching corps. The Mets have two 20-game losers already.  Galen Cisco is 3-20 and Gary Kroll is 1-20. Al Jackson is presently 6-18 and ace John ‘Fat Jack; Fisher is 9-17. The Mutts can do a reverse 1971 Baltimore pitching staff when four Orioles won 20 or more games that season.

At least three relievers and spot starters, Tug McGraw at 4-7, Tom Parsons at 4-9 and Larry Miller at 4-8 each have chances of losing at least 10 games.

But when playing the Mets, rolling the dice and anticipating yet another loss, the team is actually in many of the contests. They are like my golf playing of ago. I was so horrible a golfer that the USGA deemed my handicap my entire game rather than a few strokes. But, there was always one or two shot – in my case, non-whiffs when the ball went straight- that kept me coming back. The Mutts are like that.

Here’s a prime example. The Mets were in St. Louis for their Sept. 5, 1965, game.  Ed Kranepool hit a first-inning home run and New York was up, 1-0.  The Cardinals came back, scoring two in the bottom half of the inning and then two more in the fourth. I thought the rout was on. Instead, Ron Swoboda hit two homers and drove in four, Chuck Hiller hit a two run shot and Jess Hickman blasted a three run dinger and McGraw hurled a complete game, albeit with seven walks, and the Mets won, 10-4.

After losing nine in a row, New York has gone a surprising 5-4, including taking two out of three to the faltering Cardinals in Sportsman’s Park.

And when they lose, it’s not by much in many cases. Of their 106 losses, 36 were by three runs or less.

Of course, there are flashes of the Mets ineptness that prompted New York writer Jimmy Breslin to pen the baseball classic about the Mets, “Can’t Anybody Here Play This Game?” They once lost to the Reds, 25-7, and in a three-game road swing in Los Angeles and Houston, they were outscored 30-2. They opened the season with a 12-game losing streak before surprising San Francisco. In jubilation, the Mutts then embarked on an eight-game losing run. Next, they swept the underachieving Milwaukee Braves before going on another eight-game losing streak.

See what I mean about comparing my awful golf game to the Mets?  They didn’t win their 10^th game until June 9. In July, they were 6-22.

When I did a 1981 season replay, the Minnesota Twins lost 26 in a row in the most futile streak I’ve ever rolled. But they ended up winning more games than the Mets will. (I couldn’t find my season stats for 1981, but saw they were 39-95 in mid September 1981.)

Despite their awful record, the Mets are a fun team to play. I find myself rooting for them, although when doing replays, I try to keep an unbiased managerial style in pulling pitchers and subbing players. Each Mets’ game is an adventure and now it’s a challenge to see if they can win 40 games before their season blissfully comes to an end.