But I remember the rained out game the
day before more so because it literally saved my neck and restored my
distrust for conveyor belt physicians.
I was scheduled on Oct. 26, 2011, to
undergo an injection treatment for a deteriorated disc in my neck by
a local pain doctor. I was having issues with the disc for some time
and it often felt like someone was shoving a steel rod through my eye
and out the back of my head. Stress exacerbated the pain, which was
groovy since I work at a newspaper where meeting constant deadlines
are the life.
The doctor did a perfunctory
examination of my neck a week prior and rubber stamped my treatment. I was to
get a shot of nerve-deadening lidocaine into the C3 disc at 1 p.m. — only six hours before Game 6 was to begin — and since the procedure and recovery time took about
three hours, I figured I'd be home in time to catch the first pitch. All would be well, he said.
So I went.
When I arrived, I should have taken
early notice and bolted then. I am not making this up; the other
patients there resembled the group in the waiting room for hell in
that movie Beetlejuice. One person was showing photographs on her
phone camera of ghosts that she captured. There were ghosts in the
room with us, she said, and she wanted to snap more pictures.
Another man kept talking about his old
friends, then sadly ending each thought with a dejected shake of his
head and: “He's dead now.”
Yet another woman regaled the doctor,
proclaiming his treatments were a “miracle.”
“Treatments?” I asked. “How many
times have you been here?”
She thought for a moment, counting in
her head. “About 10 now,” she said.
The doctor was running behind. I was
called back to the pre-op room at about 2:30 p.m and went through a
barrage of questions. A nurse asked me what level my pain was at. I
guessed a '6.' She told me that I had to be 80 percent better in
order for my insurance to cover the procedure, otherwise it would be
more than $400 a shot. “Eighty percent of six?” I asked. “So I
have to figure out that I'm at a 1.2 pain level for my insurance to kick
in? How do I do decimals?”
She shrugged. I asked if we could amend
the pain to something easier to compute, like a 100.
I was ushered into a smaller room
where a series of beds were cloaked by curtains. The nurse asked me
to shuck my clothing and get into a gown. I asked why I had to take
my pants off for a neck treatment. It was yet another warning sign
that this was not supposed to happen.
Finally, at about 4 p.m. I, pantless,
caught a nurse and asked what the delay was. I told her Game 6 was
scheduled in three hours (I didn't know about the rain out yet), and
said I was told the recovery time was three hours. The nurse said
that since I had a driver, I could leave when I “woke up” and did
not have to wait the allotted time.
“Driver?” I asked. “I don't have
a driver.”
She became irritated and said the
doctor didn't schedule any afternoon treatments for those who had no
one to drive them home. Apparently, a side effect of the treatment is
the deadening of the right arm. Driving would be somewhat restrictive
if you couldn't use your arm, she said.
By then I realized I was in the remake
of some medical horror movie. No pants, dead arm, ghosts. It was time
to bail out.
The nurse said we would possibly have
to reschedule the injection. I jumped at the opportunity, as well as
back into my pants, and I fled, promising to set up a new treatment
time.
I never did.
Instead I went to a different doctor in
another town a month later who ordered an MRI and a full work-up of
my situation. He found that the C3 disc was not in bad shape. It was
the C5, and the treatment prescribed for me earlier would have been
pointless.
He treated it with medication, light
therapy and adjustments to my work. I am supposed to get away from my
computer occasionally, walk around a bit and try to minimize the
stress level. It works at times.
I look back on the day of that procedure. Had I not been a sports addict, I may have gone through
with the injection. I was on the brink of being rolled in to the
doc's shop of horrors when I questioned the nurse about the game time.
There is still pain. A lot of pain
sometimes. But I don't have to figure out mathematical
problems to determine my pain's abatement. I have full use of my arms
and I am wearing pants.
And I didn't miss the game the
following night.
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